Movie Reveiws
by babaga he who laughs at anime
Summary: naruto and the gang watch a movie and talk about it. i would like reveiws
1. Chapter 1

**Movie Review**

(Within this story, the nine tailed fox shall have it's own body. It shall be a guy, called Mittens, with orange hair, fox ears, and wears a fur coat the same shade as his hair with it dragging on the ground with nine tattered ends. No story relevance, just want for people to know what he looks like.)

"Dudes, I just got free tickets to the Godzilla movie fest." Naruto yelled and barged into Sasuke's estate. It held Zabuza, Haku, Lee, Sakura, Ino, Shino, Kiba, Hinata, Neji, Sasuke, and Mittens "I got tickets for all the guys except for Lee. Sorry dude, but you're too creepy."

"What is Godzilla?" said half of the people their.

"Iunno (means I Don't know). Lets go!"

After several days of watching every Godzilla film made, they went home. On the way there…

"I could of kicked that friggin' lizard and homosexual friends asses. Why take us there you freaking tard. You could have sold the tickets on ebay for cash." Yelled Mittens

"Shut glove." Said Sasuke.

"You guys fucking gave me that name so you wouldn't have to learn to speak squirrel."

"Why do you need to learn squirrel to say a fox's name." Neji asked

"I liked the parts with ass whupping." Interjected Zabuza.

"Nice way to be vague." Mittens sneaked in a sarcastic tone.

"Don't complain. Those were the only good parts, and it was true for all the movies." Kiba stated.

"You sure it wasn't because you couldn't read the translations for 'roar'." Sasuke teased.

"We could use some help dragging sleeping beauty over here." Haku yelled.

"I'll help." Shino said as his bugs swarmed to carry Naruto.

**End**


	2. What the Thing?

**What "The Thing"?**

(Due to this series getting exactly twice more reviews than my other series, which isn't much since it is still one, this one shall live on.)

"BOREEEED!" Naruto yelled on the roof top where Zabuza, Sasuke, Kiba, Mittens, Neji, Lee, and Shino.

"Hey tard. Shut up, you're hurting my ears." Mittens replied, annoyed. Haku then pops out of nowhere.

"I'VE GOT FREE TICKETS TO A SCI-FI FILM THAT IS A FEW DECADES OLD." He then yelled at the top of his lungs.

"SHUT THE HELL UP FREAK. MY MIGRANE IS BAD ENOUGH!" Mittens yelled.

Kiba ignored the fox. "What is the film?"

"The Thing."

"Great title." Zabuza said sarcastically.

"How did you get them?" Mittens said after taking a bottle of Tylenol and putting soundproof earmuffs. (He is going to lip read.)

"A talent contest." Haku replied with pride.

"What did you do?" Lee asked.

"Stole them. Now lets go before they find out I replaced them with Chuck E. Cheese tokens."

"Zabuza, buy beer and bring it." Neji stated.

"Why?"

"'Cuz you're the only one who can buy the beer." Neji replied. Then everyone left.

After the film…

"Some film that was, they alien was just a fucking parasite that altered the hosts mind to obey the alien. The scariest part was the freaking background music." Mittens stated.

"Why cut your thumb for blood? Why not the pinky, you don't use it as much?" Zabuza inquired.

"I liked the part with flying monkey/unicorn hybrid." Lee said while stumbling.

"It is so fun to watch him after he ingests beer." Naruto whispered to Neji, while grinning evilly.

"That film sucked the gay straight out of Liberache's ass." Mittens stated.

"I need some help back here." Haku yelled at the group. Kiba was crying like Akamaru had been killed in front of him.

"All those dogs were killed, and only I care. You are all heartless bastards who were abused by their mother."

**End**


	3. Chapter 3

**It… It… "It" Sucked.**

**(Naruto, Zabuza, Sasuke, Haku, Shino, Mittens, Neji, Kiba, and Lee Shall now be referred to as the gang.)**

"Who wants to see a movie?" Kiba shouted to the gang.

"What is it this time?" Mittens asked in a pissed tone.

"Stephen King's 'It'. Akamaru won tickets at a dog show for burping the Spanish alphabet." Kiba stated with idiotic pride.

"Zabuza, buy 5 boxes of viagra and give them to me." Naruto whispered to the sword wielder.

"Why?"

"You'll see. To the movies!"

At the theater lobby before start of movie…

"Every fan girl in the theater, turn your attention to the time crisis game to mob Sasuke, Haku, and Neji." Naruto's voice said over the intercom system. The three who were mentioned all whispered crap before mauled by fan girls.

After the movie…

"Damn it, did any one else get a boner during the movie?" Mittens asked. Every one but Naruto and Zabuza raised their hand.

"That is what the Viagra was for." Zabuza said in astonishment.

"Yep, dissolved them all in the butter server in the theater." He stated with an evil grin. "That is what they get for dumping my ramen out. And when you tried to kill me, I got back by posting pictures of you wearing Haku's dresses on the Internet." Zabuza then ran away crying.

"Hey Kiba, was the werewolf your cousin?" Mittens joked. Kiba just stewed quietly.

"Why did it only eat every 22 years?" Shino asked.

"'Cuz its your mom." Mittens said.

"No one is supposed to know that but me, I mean banana makes me crazy." Shino yelled, then twitched.

"I wanted more killing in the movie. Heh heh. Killing is fun." Haku stated. Mittens nods to what Haku said.

"Have you guys even read the book?" Sasuke asked. Everyone shakes their head. "It was much better than the movie. It lasts longer, the scenes are more descriptive, more killing, and basics in sex education." At that sentence, everyone went off to the nearest bookstore.

**End**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hellboy, the Emo Demon**

**(Not much of a movie reveiw)

* * *

**

"Happy Halloween, muha ha ha ha." Zabuza said manically.

"Be quiet, besides it is almost Veterans Day." Neji stated.

"He must be dressed up as a mummy." Naruto whispered to Mittens.

"No, he just has problems using toilet paper." Mittens replied sarcastically.

"I got DVD we can watch and criticize." Kiba added in.

"What is it?" Haku asked.

"Hellboy."

Everyone got up and hit Kiba on the back of the head so hard that his face and shadow was plastered to the wall. "We aren't going to watch something called Hellboy!" Sasuke exclaimed.

"But it has demons, killing, explosions, and guns."

"I'm in." Everyone else said at the same time. "It better be as good as you say." Sasuke grunted.

One Movie later…

"Who the in the seven freakin' chambers of hell is Rasputin?" Mittens yelled in frustration.

"He was the advisor of the czarress of Russia before it had a revolution. He is known as a womanizer; drunkard; priest; healer; and not dying after being poisoned several times with cyanide, being stabbed and shot about three times each, bludgeoned, and tossed in hole made to throw him in a frozen-over river. He was found in the morning a few miles away, still alive, where they got fed up with him and chopped his head off." Haku said, with an admiring gleam in his eyes.

"I think he paid a bit too much attention during his history classes." Sasuke said.

"Let us put him out of his misery then." Naruto said, and handed everyone but Haku a shotgun. "Let the hunt begin." Haku bolts and everyone chases him.

**The End**


	5. Grades of evil

**I am sorry that I shall not be able to update this fan fiction for sometime due to the evils of D+. I shall be banned from computer in which only the forces of good… grades can save me from.**


	6. The truth

**_To fans of my drabble:_** I have not done any writing for a long time so I am getting sloppy in fanfictions. As such, I have not been writing updates for my stories. But I have thought of new stories that are Naruto crossovers. Email or review to tell what you think of them.

**IDEA 1)** Naruto-Dark Cloud 2 crossover. The Sun atlamillia reacted to the Earth and Moon that transports it to right in front of Naruto (age 12). He picks it up and it sends him back to the day of the Kyubbi attack in the battlefield. He then calms the Kyubbi by using the sealed Kyubbi's chakra to get attention, informs Kyubbi of the consequences of continuing his attack, and averts the sealing. Serious but will have some comedy

**IDEA 2)** Naruto-Disgaea 2 crossover. In the valley of the end, when rasengan and chidori clash a small tear happens in between two worlds, not enough to transport anything unaided but a the failed summoning that summoned Rosalin also transport Naruto also. And I shall use the names and personalities of my brothers and I for those first three characters. Will be mostly funny.

**IDEA 3)** Naruto-Megaman series crossover. I have made my own theories of the megaman series based on the games, shows, books, and an online doujinshi and modified the Megaman Legends series just a little so that Megaman had a mother with him during the games, but all the games shall play into the story with network being on the border of not being in it. Anyway, Naruto is attacked while two-years old and the attack leaves his vocal chords badly damaged beyond normal healing and the hokage assigns him a guardian who 'acidentally' left outside in a basket. He is then picked up by that ramen stand owner and his daughter after two days ,who shall be named Ronald and Wendy, and is unofficialy adopted by them. When he is older, he communicates with small signs he has written on so he can converse with customers, but his unknown past catches up with him when he is 12 after calming his friend and ramen stand regular, Ino Yamanaka, who is distraught over the death of team 7 on the bridge builder mission and goes to serve a drunken customer who could not follow the 'We can't sell it if you can't say it' policy.

I shall answer questions about them as I think I would like to write these if I get enough reviews about these ideas. Tell which ones you want me to write.


	7. Chapter 5

**Snakes on a Plane… With Ninjas**

"Where are we being sent this time?" Neji asked.

"Orochimaru sent tickets to the village for Snakes on a Plane that he got for supplying the snakes part of snakes on a plane." Mittens said.

"To the theater!" Lee shouted loud enough to set off car alarms in the real world.

After the movie…

"I don't know about you guys, but those snakes were way too accurate. I mean, what are the chances of getting anything getting bit on a woman's breast, a man's mini-me, in the jugular, and in the eye?"

"I agree. Also, why did they have the cliché a life for a life thing when that old stewardess died after saving the baby?" Sasuke replied.

"Yeah, but there was a lot body humor. And that germophobic rapper going crazy for a few minutes was good. And how can we not hail the PS2 after it saved the lives of those people in that entirely fictional movie?" Naruto stated.

"Kiba, Haku, Lee, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU WAILING LIKE A SIREN?!" Mittens yelled, as he was irritable from a migraine.

"Aren't you sad about the little doggie?" Kiba said in between sobs.

"Anything small and fuzzy that is killed makes me sad." Haku said.

"The usher took away the gummi worms I was trying to sneak in." Wailed Lee.

"I have told you numerous times that skin tight green body suits do not hide things well under them." Zabuza stated.

"I wonder if the creators of that film will take my idea for Alligators on a Boat." Shino mumbled.


End file.
